Wednesday, December 13, 2006
If You Catch Your Adolescent Son Eating Sushi, He’s Probably Gone Gay
It’s every parent’s worst nightmare. One minute your seemingly perfect son is playing football, going to church, and loving America, the next minute you catch him effeminately eating a sushi roll in your kitchen. If you think you should be concerned about his sushi eating, you’re right. According to studies done at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina, 95% of men who start eating sushi before they are 21 years old have homosexual relationships at some point during their lives. Sorry to break it to you, but solid conservative science proves this to be true. It’s as simple as that. Black and white. Fortunately, you can send your son to reparative therapy which may or may not include a diet high in protein and beef. You can always pray to Jesus. Anyway, good luck if you run into this inconvenient problem!