Sometimes people ask me, "How do I know whether or not my hometown is full of queers or not?" To that I respond, "well, do you have a water tower?" See, folks, Nothing screams FREEDOM more than a water tower. As I travel down lonesome American highways breathing in pure unadulterated breaths of liberty, the one thing that I am looking for in the distance is a water tower. When I see a water tower, along with the affixed American Flag, I know for 100% certainty that I'll be welcome in that town.
For instance, you will find water towers in fine American cities like Amarillo, Texas and Starkville, Mississippi, but you will absolutely NOT find one in Eugene, Oregon. These liberal towns claim that their underground hidden water tanks are "high-tech" and that they are more "aesthetically pleasing." The TRUTH is that they simply don't love America. The water tower is the PERFECT opportunity for a town to display the stars and stripes loud and proud, but NO, they're burying it beneath the ground.
So next time you come across a town without a water tower, keep driving, you won't find America there.