You're just asking to be caught Ridin' Dirty

I'm not gonna lie.

As a devout follower of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I know that I must admit to my sins or else I'll be burned in hell with all the liberals. Therefore, I'll admit that there's a few times that I haven't perfectly adhered to the rules of the road. But let it be known that the few times I had to bend the law, the law was bent in the name of AMERICA!!

I'd also like to point out the following
extremely important facts:

- I drive an American pickup truck
- I have 28 Pro-America bumperstickers
- I don't have tinted windows
- I don't blast loud rap music

Accordingly, I have never had a problem with an officer of the law. See, cops notice each of those items noted above and immediately realize that I am, without question, an honest patriotic citizen. Even though I may have not come to a complete stop, there is no need to pull me over because I obviously have nothing to hide. There are much better ways for them to protect and serve our country than to waste their time with a non-troublemaker like myself. For instance, they could be going door to door at a non-Christ based university, searching for students who illegally possess Marijuana. That might actually solve something!

Which brings me to my point.

Apparently, there's people out there who COMPLAIN that cops are "singling them out" and pulling them over just because they're playing their music too loud or have tinted windows. Well, DUHHH!!! If I can't see inside your car, then you're obviously doing something illegal inside it. That's a fact. Maybe if you had some pro-American bumper stickers than we might let you slide, but you DON'T. Maybe if you didn't want to get caught you should be blasting some Lynyrd Skynyrd instead of Eazy E, but you're NOT, so don't expect any special treatment, hoodlum! Purely due to your un-American car behavior, every cop in the USA is going to CORRECTLY assume that you are either drunk or have drugs on you. So when you get arrested, maybe you'll then realize it wasn't because you were ridin' dirty, it was because you turned your back on America in the first place!