Sweet Sweet Freedom

Just Try And Stop Me From Building A Moat Around My Property You Liberal

2009-05-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

Let me make one thing clear: I’m going to do whatever I want with my private property! I know my American rights and I’m not going to let some lazy liberal bureaucrats tell me to follow unconstitutional land use and environmental “laws”. If I want to build a damn moat around my property, I’ll do it. If I want to build a huge wall around my property, I’ll do it. If I want to build a damn steel mill on my property, I’ll do that too. If any environmentalists come poking around my land and start whining about me building on an endangered species habitat, I’ll throw them in the moat. People come before useless animals in my world. This is my land, my America, and I’m going to protect my rights with all my heart. Read the sign BOY! Private Property: Keep Out Obama!

i have a story

2007-05-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

my subject is not properly worded--its false advertising--what follows is less a story and more a description of part of my day yesterday. this event is one that calls into question all that has occurred before. it is an occurrence that requires one to ask: is this a defining moment in my existence?

nothing in the days build up foreshadowed something of such significance; there was no black cat, no shooting star hinting at my fate. i choose the word fate carefully, for this occurrence cannot be chalked up to random chance, this moment was predestined.

as i drove along the sunny pacific coast highway in southern california something happened. describing the build up to the event is unimportant, the suspense it would create is unnecessary, about as unnecessary as this sentence. as i sat in light traffic i was rear ended by one of the many monstrous black suv's lurking our highways. there was a jolt, a jostle, my radio flew out, my sunglasses stayed on, my seat belt remained fastened, there were no signs of those oh so finicky airbags.

moments later on the side of the road i exited the car to meet my assailant. i didn't notice the man standing in front of me, as much as the fact as there was a man there. he handed me his license, and i put it on my notebook to copy down the information. the texas issued laminated rectangle read: Chuck Norris and was accompanied by a picture of the smiling bearded karate virtuoso (i should not pigeon hole the man, his many talents extend far beyond the field of martial arts). at this point i was in shock, how could i not have noticed i'd been standing next to chuck norris? i turned and looked in a stupor, and muttered something along the lines of 'really?'. the answer was pure Norris, 'yup, thats me'.

there a few additional details i wish to offer for your consideration: chuck norris sports ray ban wayfarers, chuck norris carries a three fold velcro wallet, chuck norris said he is used to dallas driving, not our calm california streets. when i asked if the drivers in dallas were crazy chuck responded by saying: "they should be using horse and buggies". does anyone know what the hell that means? oh and chuck norris knows kai wulff, he said, 'say hello to kai for me'. when chuck norris shakes goodbye after rear-ending you he does not settle for mere hand to hand contact. chuck grabs your hand, engulfs it in his 67 year old, bruce lee battling fingers, then grabs your forearm with his off hand and says 'it was nice meeting you, sorry about the car'.

Vince Vaughn Gives A Damn About America

2007-01-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

If you think Hollywood is made up of 99% liberal elite queers, you’re absolutely right. There are, however, a few true Americans left in film industry. Vince Vaughn is one of these Americans. Vince had the balls to go to Iraq and hang out with troops that protect our freedoms here at home. Hats off to you Mr. Vaughn!

Please excuse our Patriotic Downtime

2007-01-05T14:25:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that our millions of loyal readers have noticed that there haven't been any new posts here at Sweet Sweet Freedom over the past few weeks. Some people might accuse us of being lazy. Some queers might say that we've turned our back on America. Well I got news for you...We've been as AMERICAN as it FUCKIN GETS!!
Two weeks ago when we heard that our great Republican President Gerald R. Ford was being hospitalized, we immediately started to pray to God and Jesus Christ, NON-FUCKING-STOP for a week straight!! We consider ourselves personally responsible for allowing him to hold on as long as he did. Had it not been for our prayers, he would have left us even sooner. Unfortunately, his liberal doctors were obviously too concerned about performing abortions and didn't give President Ford the proper care he needed, and on December 26, he passed away.

Since his death, we have been mourning non-stop like any true American would do. In order to show him the respect he deserves, we did not log onto the internet or use any other "modern technology" for 2 full weeks. It has just been all good Christian prayer & mourning, nothing else. We only allow ourselves breaks to eat McDonalds Cheeseburgers, Milkshakes & Fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

However, after 3 weeks of absence, we realized that without our presence here at Sweet Sweet Freedom, the world is quickly deteriorating into a stew of liberal bullshit and we know for DAMN sure that President Ford would have wanted us to stand up and FIGHT for America and put an end to all that!! So, on that note, we're back America!!!

God bless

Prepare For Tears Of American Pride

2006-12-20T13:54:00.000-08:00

There are very few things a true American male will cry about, but the following video might be one of them. Tears of pure American pride are sure to well up in your eyes after watching this Tribute to Ronald Reagan. It’s a special treat for all that love this land of Sweet Sweet Freedom. Enjoy!

Pro-Environment = Anti-American

2006-12-19T22:32:00.000-08:00

Here at Sweet Sweet Freedom, its high time we recognize the fact the liberal pro-environment types are just trying to bring everyone down with their hyped-up, quasi-facts and so called "evidence" that environment is being irreprably harmed by our glorious PROGRESS. To support a clean environment that benefits from so-called "responsible use" of our nation's natural resources is the same as spitting on the "little guy" who just trying to pull himself up by the bootstraps to make a better life for himself! Its not the coporations' fault that this "damage" is being done to the environment! They just realize they have a DUTY to motivate the little guy to be more like them and to pull themselves up by the boot-straps to become multi-billion dollar multi-national companies! Here in America, ANYONE can be a CEO of such a company! We all can be! And so rightly we should...at any expense. Its the only the American way - to be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and use any natural resource we have in any way we see fit! Yet, here are the liberals warning us of "doom" if we dont act more responsibly! Whatever, I say, if the next several generations cant pull themselves up by their bootstraps with what we've given them, then thats THEIR problem! Prove me wrong!

A Real Man's Show: War Stories With Oliver North

2006-12-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

In a world of sissy liberal television programs, it is nice to know Fox News has delivered yet another quality show that celebrates a little place called AMERICA. Of course, I’m talking about War Stories with Oliver North, a show with far more guts, balls, and testosterone than the collective population of San Francisco. War Stories ain’t some pussy show about melting polar icecaps on the National Geographic Channel, but it is a show about something that is near and dear to my heart: FUCKIN’ WAR! This show brings you stories of American triumph and has enough great World War II footage to give any true American a huge patriotic boner. You’ll see profiles in American courage as the brave men of this land dominate Europeans and Asians on the battlefield, regardless of the war. Best of all, the show is hosted by American-hero-warrior-dominator Oliver North. The man is such a badass that he eats bullets for breakfast and then shits hand grenades at a later point in the day. So you aren’t sure about this show? Think it might glorify war and promote violence? Then go watch some pussy show on Lifetime you bleeding vagina.

The only bank you can rely on.

2006-12-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

As anyone with half a brain can tell you, putting your money in a bank is one of the stupidest things you can do. All banks these days are run by corrupt foreigners or jews, and giving them your money is practically equivalent to burning it the furnace in your basement. Therefore, I'm sure that you have all your cash stored somewhere safe in your house, guarded by at least 3 shotguns.

However, us here at Sweet Sweet Freedom have recently discovered the exception to this banking quagmire. You might think that "Bank of America" is the way to go, but you would be wrong. Liberals came up with that name to try and trick us real Americans into using it, so don't be fooled. There is only ONE bank that exists where you can be sure that your money will be safe. If you look at the image above, I'm pretty sure it's self-explanatory. Look up FREEDOM in the dictionary, and that's what you'll see. Don't believe me, then just listen to Uncle Sam right here on my right: "If you want to achieve the American Dream, there's only one bank that will get you there, Emigrant fuckin Direct! Not IMMIGRANT fuckin Direct like every other bank out there!!"

Thanks, Sammy, couldn't have put it better myself.

The true mark of an American City

2006-12-16T09:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people ask me, "How do I know whether or not my hometown is full of queers or not?" To that I respond, "well, do you have a water tower?" See, folks, Nothing screams FREEDOM more than a water tower. As I travel down lonesome American highways breathing in pure unadulterated breaths of liberty, the one thing that I am looking for in the distance is a water tower. When I see a water tower, along with the affixed American Flag, I know for 100% certainty that I'll be welcome in that town.

For instance, you will find water towers in fine American cities like Amarillo, Texas and Starkville, Mississippi, but you will absolutely NOT find one in Eugene, Oregon. These liberal towns claim that their underground hidden water tanks are "high-tech" and that they are more "aesthetically pleasing." The TRUTH is that they simply don't love America. The water tower is the PERFECT opportunity for a town to display the stars and stripes loud and proud, but NO, they're burying it beneath the ground.

So next time you come across a town without a water tower, keep driving, you won't find America there.

Hank Williams Jr. Lyric of the Day - 12.15.06

2006-12-15T18:54:00.001-08:00

Go get yourself a Harley,
hop on a hog,
Put the hammer down
on the outskirts of town
and start rolling along.
Just like a bunch of wild outlaws
riding across the range,
the girls love the roar
we ride until we get sore
on the Iron Horse.

You're just asking to be caught Ridin' Dirty

2006-12-15T16:12:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna lie.

As a devout follower of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I know that I must admit to my sins or else I'll be burned in hell with all the liberals. Therefore, I'll admit that there's a few times that I haven't perfectly adhered to the rules of the road. But let it be known that the few times I had to bend the law, the law was bent in the name of AMERICA!!

I'd also like to point out the following
extremely important facts:

- I drive an American pickup truck
- I have 28 Pro-America bumperstickers
- I don't have tinted windows
- I don't blast loud rap music

Accordingly, I have never had a problem with an officer of the law. See, cops notice each of those items noted above and immediately realize that I am, without question, an honest patriotic citizen. Even though I may have not come to a complete stop, there is no need to pull me over because I obviously have nothing to hide. There are much better ways for them to protect and serve our country than to waste their time with a non-troublemaker like myself. For instance, they could be going door to door at a non-Christ based university, searching for students who illegally possess Marijuana. That might actually solve something!

Which brings me to my point.

Apparently, there's people out there who COMPLAIN that cops are "singling them out" and pulling them over just because they're playing their music too loud or have tinted windows. Well, DUHHH!!! If I can't see inside your car, then you're obviously doing something illegal inside it. That's a fact. Maybe if you had some pro-American bumper stickers than we might let you slide, but you DON'T. Maybe if you didn't want to get caught you should be blasting some Lynyrd Skynyrd instead of Eazy E, but you're NOT, so don't expect any special treatment, hoodlum! Purely due to your un-American car behavior, every cop in the USA is going to CORRECTLY assume that you are either drunk or have drugs on you. So when you get arrested, maybe you'll then realize it wasn't because you were ridin' dirty, it was because you turned your back on America in the first place!

A 100% American Music Video

2006-12-15T14:39:00.000-08:00

Darryl Worley - "Have You Forgotten"
I’ll never forget 9/11.
Support Our Troops!

Just Try And Stop Me From Building A Moat Around My Property You Liberal

2006-12-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Hank Williams Jr. Lyric of the Day - 12.14.06

2006-12-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

I got a hot-rod Ford and a two-dollar bill
And I know a spot right over the hill.
There's soda pop and the dancin's free,
So if you wanna have fun come along with me.

Throw A Dodgeball At The Nearest Liberal Pussy

2006-12-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Us savvy Americans know that liberals are promoting the wussification of our culture and would like nothing more than to remove a fine American playground game, like dodgeball, from our public schools. They say that dodgeball “causes injuries” and “encourages bullying” when it is played in elementary schools. They say the world would be a better place without dodgeball. To that I say: What a bunch of fags! I mean seriously! I loved that damn game as a kid. It taught me how to be a man and I was able to identify which classmates would be future democrats based on their complete lack of dodgeball skills (I’m telling you, they threw like fucking girls). There are few things in life more satisfying than throwing a hard rubber ball at a liberal dork.

I may be older these days, but my love for dodgeball hasn’t gone away. Just the other day I went into some liberal café, looked for the first pussy on a laptop I could find, and proceeded to fire a dodgeball right at his liberal face. It was awesome – I nailed him bro! His coffee spilled all over the place, and best of all, he never stood up to me. What a typical liberal pussy. Based on this great experience, I recommend that every red-blooded American go down to their local café with a dodgeball and follow my example. You’ll get to see a liberal suffer and you will have fulfilled your American duty for the day. Everybody wins!

What the hell do you need that passport for?

2006-12-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

Can you honestly sit there and give me one good reason why you should step one inch beyond our borders? Do you hate America? Is America not good enough for you? Do you need to go to Europe so that you can get your vagina cleaned? I'm sorry that you don't enjoy waking up to Freedom every morning.

So you're going to France so you can do wine tasting? Are the foreigner-free North Carolina vineyards not up to your standards? And then you're headed to Spain to check out their "great" beaches. Oh I forgot that we had beaches in America. Apparently you've never heard of a little town called Myrtle FUCKING BEACH, South Carolina!!! Next you're headed to Germany for Oktoberfest? Did I miss something? Did all the Budweiser breweries all of a sudden shut down? Oh, it's not the beer your looking for, it's the party atmosphere? I take it you've never been to the ultimate AMERICAN fest, the Testicle Festival in Big Sky Country Montana!!!

So go ahead, "traveler," and leave America, leave behind all your Freedom, all your rights, and most importantly, all your dignity. And then report back to me on what its like to go spend thousands of "Euros" on homo shit that you could get a better version of right here in the states!!

Papa Bear is fightin' for the Common Man

2006-12-13T19:59:00.000-08:00

Yes folks, I am here to fight. To fight for the "common man." I'm sure I dont have to tell you what that means, because, as a conservative, you already know the definition because you are automatically considered one. We, the common men of America don't need any fancy, open-minded thinking! We know what we love, and we love what we know, and that is FINAL. To expand our horizons is to merely open ourselves to potential anti-American ideals! OK, I know what you're thinking: "Didn't our founding fathers support and encourage free thinking?" Well of course! But that was over TWO HUNDRED years ago! We've come along way since then. About the 1950's we finally came to the conclusion that we hate communism and that we pretty much know everything there is to know about running a country. That's that. No more discussion on this matter. We the common men have SPOKEN.

If You Catch Your Adolescent Son Eating Sushi, He’s Probably Gone Gay

2006-12-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare. One minute your seemingly perfect son is playing football, going to church, and loving America, the next minute you catch him effeminately eating a sushi roll in your kitchen. If you think you should be concerned about his sushi eating, you’re right. According to studies done at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina, 95% of men who start eating sushi before they are 21 years old have homosexual relationships at some point during their lives. Sorry to break it to you, but solid conservative science proves this to be true. It’s as simple as that. Black and white. Fortunately, you can send your son to reparative therapy which may or may not include a diet high in protein and beef. You can always pray to Jesus. Anyway, good luck if you run into this inconvenient problem!

Hey You! Ya you in the Infiniti SUV! You Homo!!!

2006-12-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

Look at you - what are you a woman?? How many latte holders does your queer car have?? How many safety features?? How much did that Navigation System cost, you sissy? What's the matter, you don't know how to look at a fucking map? How are those heated leather seats treating you? I'm so sorry that your vagina is feeling a little chilly.

Oh I get it, you're too good for us. You're a member of the liberal elite. Is that a receipt for a $60 car wash from "Yuppies-R-Us" in your glove box? I'll bet my rotweiler's life that you are a card carrying Triple AAA member too. Is that a "Save Mono Lake" bumper sticker I see? What's that fucking siren sound?? Oh it must be your malfunctioning alarm sensor that goes off whenever someone sneezes within a 15 mile radius.

What the hell are you gonna do with that thing? You can barely fit anything in it... Are you gonna go snowboarding in Lake Tahoe? scuba-diving in Carmel? take the family to the 2008 Democratic National Convention?? Two things are for certain, you sure as hell can't take that baby off-road, and you definitely can't fit a barbecue or a 500cc All-American dirt-bike in the trunk. It might make it a little bit dirty!

Listen up, Homo! I challenge you to sell that car and in its place purchase yourself three 1991 Ford or Chevy pickup trucks covered in pro-America stickers. You could haul so much more shit that way! Plus you're guaranteed that the previous owner took good care of that baby. The more it smells like cigarrettes, the better chance that the engine is runnin smooth.

A "Babes of Sweet Sweet Freedom Calendar" for 2007?

2006-12-13T15:03:00.000-08:00

The staff at Sweet Sweet Freedom has considered introducing a calendar of hot conservative babes for the coming new year. At this time, we would like some input on which women we should and shouldn’t include in this calendar. We are also open to ideas when it comes to naming the calendar. Some of the criteria used for choosing these women will include: Attractiveness, big titties (sorry Michelle Malkin), conservative values, likeliness to sleep with your average conservative man, etc. We look forward to your comments regarding this idea.

DO NOT mess with pickup Trucks!!

2006-12-13T14:10:00.000-08:00

This past Monday night, two young girls headed out for a joyride in the fine red-leaning town of Fullerton, California. At first glance, it seems as though there's nothing wrong with that picture. That's until you find out that Elise Robles and her friend weren't just harmlessly heading to the Pizza Parlor after their Community church youth group adjourned. Oh no...these girls definitely did NOT have America in mind when they stepped into their 1999 Ford Concourse. As a matter of fact, these girls were basically following the teachings of Al Qaeda. That's right America, these girls were fucking TERRORISTS!!

I'm sorry, but is taking a carton of eggs around town and throwing them at innocent vehicles something that you are taught in the Fullerton or Brea School District??? I didn't FUCKING THINK SO ELISE!!! Let me check your passport... Oh, is that a stamp from Pakistan I see?? Oh, is that a diploma from Hiram Al-Mustafa's School of Terrorism???

These girls probably would have gotten away with their terrorist acts had they simply understood how America works. See, you can drive around all day and egg Liberals and their small pussy eco-friendly cars, but the second you try fucking with a TRUE American vehicle, you are in for a world of hurt!! Luckily for America, these girls eyed a man in a pickup truck, similar to the one pictured here, and he "just happened to be a guy they felt they would like to throw eggs at."

Big.Fucking.Mistake.Bitches.

Several miles later, justice was served. After being chased through the streets of Fullerton by this unidentified Pickup truck driver, the girls crashed into the side of a house, and the Patriot drove off into the night, mission accomplished.

Final Score:
USA 1. Terrorists 0.

Hank Williams Jr. Lyric of the Day - 12.13.06

2006-12-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

You know, the red necks and the hippies
They are in their discos and honkytonks
Somewhere between raising hell and amazing grace
Lord, I know just how they feel
You gotta get out and kick up your heels
And ain't it great to be livin in the USA

Americans of the Day - 12.13.06: John Stockton & Jeff Hornacek

2006-12-13T13:11:00.001-08:00

Back in the early to mid 90s, True Americans still had a small appreciation for a sport known as basketball. Then the "hip-hop" generation came along and everything started getting a little too flashy for our liking. All of a sudden, teams started to place importance on "athletic" players and we started seeing a lot of "high-flying" fancy dunking and "cross-over" dribbling. I'm sorry, but us REAL Americans happen to be fans of a little thing called FUNDAMENTALS. I'm talkin bout flawless execution of the pick-n-roll, 100% Free Throw shooting percentage, thorough understanding of the finger-roll, and certainly none of this "palming of the ball" crap. Two of the most exemplary basketball players of this era were John Stockton & Jeff Hornacek of the Utah Jazz. Coincidentally, the Utah Jazz just happened to be the most Fundamentally-sound basketball team of all time. Sweet Sweet Freedom salutes you fine gentlemen as the Americans of the Day.

Nowadays, it's considered "cool" by the hip-hop generation to have a 60% Free Throw Shooting Percentage. Tell that to Jeff Hornacek and you know what he'll do?? He'll take his time, thoroughly analyze the situation, rub his face as a way of saying high to his Children, and then PUNCH you in the FACE!

You'll notice a lot of players these days running around the court practically tripping over themselves because their shorts are so long and baggy. You might even see some players wearing tights to hide their legs!!! Tell this to John Stockton and he'll politely pull his dick out of the bottom of his short shorts and SLAP you across your FOREHEAD!

Also, it's no coincidence that John Stockton happens to share his last name with perhaps the finest town the west coast has to offer: 2-Time All-American city Stockton, CA!!

These 2 baketball players -- No, not "ballers," as the young "hip-hop" generation calls them -- put America on their back during the 1990s...it's a real shame that no one has stepped up to fill their void with the possible exception of Tim Duncan and the fundamentally sound San Antonio Spurs.

The Best American Mayor: Fresno's Alan Autry

2006-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

Can anyone be more American than current Fresno Mayor Alan Autry? I doubt it. He’s had a celebrated NFL career, played Captain Bubba Skinner on the television series In the Heat of the Night, and is now the queer-hating mayor of a great American city. Whether he is opposing gay marriage with the heterosexual-only “Marriage Commitment Day” or courting topnotch strip mall developers at city council meetings, he is getting the job done for the USA. More than anything, Autry fights to keep liberals and their highfalutin sophistication outside the Fresno city limits. Don’t even try to open up an art gallery in Fresno you liberal pussies!

Autry has also given me a great idea. While I’m completely against cloning and stem cell research 99% of the time, I think we need to make an exception and clone Alan Autry. If we sent an army of 20,000 full-grown Alan Autry clones to fight in Iraq, I’m sure all the “problems” we are having there would be solved within a week. The Autry Army would not only stop the violence, but would also convert all the Sunni and Shia Muslims into Southern Baptists. After that, they can attack San Francisco and remove communist mayor Gavin Newsom. All this and more can be done in around two months in case you timetable-loving-Defeatocrats were wondering.

Oh, you have Triple AAA? Are you on your period?

2006-12-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

Ever since God invented the wheel, there has been nothing more American than fixing a flat tire on the side of the road. Car battery dead? No problem, grab the jumper cables out of the back of the pickup truck, wave down another fine American citizen and ask him for a jump. Car broke down? Easy solution. Call up one of your 25 friends who drives a Ford F350 and have him drive over and tow you to the nearest American mechanic. Any true American ENJOYS it when they have car problems because it means that they get to tap into some fine American Brotherly Love.

Well, apparently there exists a service out there today called Triple AAA, aka "The hotline for Bleeding Vaginas with car trouble." Every single registered Democrat is a member of this "Auto Club" -- notice how its not called the "Truck Club" -- cuz apparently they're afraid of a little thing called "elbow grease." A liberal would rather pay a fee and wait for someone to come change his tire because he's too much of a pussy to change it himself. Do you even know what a lugnut is, sissy? I didn't think so!!!

So to this Triple AAA, I say "NO FUCKING THANK YOU!!" I'll save my $45 a year and get my hands dirty, you pussies!

Glorious Googlisms: Weakness

2006-12-12T18:46:00.001-08:00

Today we bring you another example of how Google is proving that America is on the right track! As any true American will tell you, America is strong while the rest of the world is weak. While this is a true statement, we cannot overlook that there are certain people and places in America that are bringing the rest of us down. Lets take a look at the facts:

The last REAL American Sport

2006-12-12T17:27:00.001-08:00

All I know is that when a liberal from Mountain View, CA sees the Budweiser logo, they immediately think "Low Calorie Light Beer in futuristic Aluminium Bottles" while I and any other true American immediately thinks, "Dale FUCKING Earnhardt Jr!!" ¹ They see the Tide logo and think "laundry detergent" while we think "770 FUCKING Horsepower!!" All I'm sayin is that if you ever see anything to do with Nextel, Dominos Pizza, Burger King, Old Spice or Viagra, and you don't immediately think "NASCAR!!"... well then you better get yourself to a flag real quick and start pledging allegiance over and over again so you can catch up to us in America points!!!

Son, do the words "Winston Cup" mean anything to you? How about Darlington, Watkins Glen, or Martinsville?? No? Dick Trickle? Mark Martin? Ricky Rudd??? Nothing??? Then get the fuck out of my face!! Go hop in your 40mpg Volkswagen Beetle and drive to the nearest fucking Coffee Bean and order a Vanilla fucking latte!!!

Look, all I'm sayin is that American sports are a changin'. Back in the good ole' day we used to be able to head down to the ballpark or the boxing ring and catch ourselves some good ole' fashion American entertainment. Nowadays with all the foreigners takin over all the sports, all we got left is the racetrack! Football and Minor-League baseball stadiums are still borderline acceptable, but they keep getting less and less American every year. Just recently I went to a football game and they tried serving me a fucking burrito!! I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I lived in Mexico fucking City!!

The ONLY place left that we are GUARANTEED to be able to drink some good American beer, smoke some Winstons, and sing the Star Spangled Banner in peace is at the Speedway. And I'm not talkin bout this homo Northern California Infineon Raceway road course with hills and turns and shit. I'm talkin bout the OVAL son, left turns ONLY!

It's Jimmie Johnson Nation Baby!!!

¹ Immediately followed by the thought of throwing back a few 24oz All-American Budweiser Tall-Boys

A True American Restaurant: The Heart Attack Grill

2006-12-12T14:02:00.000-08:00

Listen BOY! I’m talkin’ bout The Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona. It’s the home of the 8,000-calorie Quadruple Bypass Burger, made from 100% Americanness. This fine establishment even has beer and cigarettes on its menu. But that ain’t all son! They got their hot waitresses wearing naughty nurse uniforms that show off these gals’ firm young titties. GOD DAMN IT I LOVE THE USA!!!!!

For those of you who say this restaurant is “unhealthy” and “degrades women”, I have just one thing to say to you: Stop being damn QUEERS and start acting like red-blooded Americans! In any event, true Americans need to get their ass down to Tempe, buy one of these burgers, and support the war on terror.

Hank Williams Jr. Lyric of the Day - 12.12.06

2006-12-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

I'd have all the cars made in the Carolina's
and I'd ban all the ones made in China.
I'd have every girl child sent to Georgia to learn to smile
and talk with that southern accent that drives men wild.

American of the Day - 12.12.06: Pat Robertson

2006-12-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Anyone with a lick of sense knows that America and Jesus go hand in hand. Many evil secular progressives have tried to kick Jesus out of this great land of opportunity, but there are still many of us that know America can’t be America without our Lord and Savior. Perhaps no man has fought harder for America and Jesus over the last few decades than today’s American of the Day, Pat Robertson. He and his brave warriors at the 700 Club fight against the God-hating media so all of us true Americans can practice our solid American family values. In fact, I don’t think there is man with more time-honored American Christian values than good old Pat. Lets be honest here patriots, there is not a man on this earth that could “out-value” Pat in a head-to-head American Values face-off. Oh, you don’t believe me you weak liberals? Too bad, it’s a fact, just look it up in the Bible!

The following video will highlight the incredible strength that can only be found in a true man of the Lord. Watch as Pat sets the world record for the most weight ever lifted on a leg press machine. He proves that when you tap into the power of Jesus, you can lift/move just about any object.

It's all about pride, BOY!

2006-12-12T09:11:00.000-08:00

Folks, I hope you enjoyed your taste of Freedom this morning. I can guarantee you that at least one of us enjoyed it. I'm talkin 'bout this future American leader shown in the video below. At NO future point in time will you EVER find this boy at a sushi restaurant. He won't be caught dead at a hockey game, nor will you have any luck finding him shopping at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. For this boy, it's ALL Super-Walmart, ALL the time!

Simply put,
From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee,
This is what America is all about!!!

Day 1 of fighting for America comes to a close

2006-12-11T23:19:00.000-08:00

Good night, and God Bless.

And remember, America doesn't turn its back and on you and go to sleep. YOU go to sleep on America!!!

Never Fear, Papa Bear is here.

2006-12-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought the two rednecks I share this site with weren't gonna "cut it", and might buckle under the pressure of the liberal elite forces in Hollywood and Marin County, I, Papa Bear O'Reilly have shown up to save the day! I will strive to shore up our patriotic defenses against the attacks on our beloved president perpetrated by the limo-liberals drinking lattes, and reading the New York Times in their cozy little sidewalk cafes. However, I will also remain "fair and balanced" and "let YOU decide"!

Every step you take is a step against America!

2006-12-11T17:35:00.000-08:00

It's a well known fact that America is a vehicle-based society. Any true American spends at least 50% of his time driving around in his pick-up truck or Hummer SUV. America was designed for highways, multi-lane roads, fast-food drive-thrus, and strip malls with huge parking lots. For all intents and purposes, the only time you should be walking is the few steps you have to take from your parking spot to your destination & back.

Any time somebody walks more than 300 feet is essentially an act of complete disregard for American values. There are of course, a few exceptions to this rule, as we shall now discuss:

- Hunting in the backwoods: Don't get me wrong, ideally, a true American will simply sit in the bed of a truck with a rifle while our buddy drives through the woods. However sometimes the terrain gets a little rough and we are forced to put our feet on the ground as we go searchin for game. Usually we won't stray too far from the vehicle cuz that's where we keep the cooler full of beer, but sometimes we get caught up in the hunt and venture past that 300 foot limit.

- Attending a Football game or NASCAR race: Obviously parking lots at stadiums & racetracks are pretty big, and the distance from your truck to your seat is probably further than 300 feet. Note that this distance is only justified if you have spent at least 3 hours tailgating and have consumed at least 2000 calories of beer and red meat prior to beginning your walk.

- You are a member of the USA Clydesdale & Filly Racing Federation: As you can tell from this ultra-patriotic website, the big boys and girls over at USACFRF are able to keep an acceptable balance between staying fat, drinking beer, loving America, and running races. Anybody who competes in athletic events while sober or weighing less than 205 pounds is simply not subscribing to the American way of life.

- Combat Training: Part of Sweet Sweet Freedom's recommended edcuation curriculum for America's youth; at some point in all of our lives we should be taught how to defend our great nation. There may come times when we need to chase down illegal immigrants or terrorists, in which case it is acceptable to surpass the 300 foot limit.

- Marching in a GOP Parade: I know what you're thinking..."T Bag, who the hell marches in a GOP parade? We all ride down the street in Fire Trucks, Limos, Hot Rods, Ford F-350s, and Hummers"...Good point. My mistake. I am sorry to have made such a glaring unpatriotic oversight. I will now accept my punishment of being forced to attend a yoga class in Brentwood, CA. That will slap some American sense into me!

This Hair Ain’t Queer

2006-12-11T15:12:00.000-08:00

When it comes to haircuts, Republicans put America first. You won’t see any of these men (pictured above) paying $100 for a hairdo at some overrated salon in LA or NYC. These guys just go down to Jim’s Barbershop, pay $9 (including a $2 tip), and get a real American haircut. I’m talkin’ bout short, side-parted hair, and none of those long hippie sideburns. I’m talkin’ bout hair that is cut with freedom and liberty in mind. I'm talkin' bout a haircut that is willing to stay the course in the name of democracy. Please print out a copy of this photo, take it to your local barber, and then point to this photo and say, “I want hair like this!”

Do it for the U.S.A.,
Chuck

Hank Williams Jr. Lyric of the Day - 12.11.06

2006-12-11T13:46:00.000-08:00

I can plow a field all day long
I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn

One Of The Greatest Quotes In American History

2006-12-11T12:40:00.000-08:00

For those of you unfamiliar with Joe Arpaio, he is the totally badass sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. Under Joe’s watch, Maricopa County jail inmates have to wear pink underwear and many of them live outdoors in tents, instead of cozy liberal jail cells. When some pansy liberals tried to question his “tent city” during a summer heat wave in Arizona in 2003, he shot down the whiny liberals with this remark:

"It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!"

Awesome! Way to tell it like it is Joe.

Glorious Googlisms: Cutting and Running

2006-12-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to point out that we here at Sweet Sweet Freedom are big fans of the Google search engine, despite its obvious liberal leanings and location in the liberal hotbed of Silicon Valley, CA.

Google tells us the truth. Purely based on results for the following searches, we can tell that America is on the right track!

Hey Mr. Democrat, Ted Nugent Shits Bigger Than You!

2006-12-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

So you think you’re special you liberal elite snob? Think again! You aren’t even half the man that Ted Nugent is. Just look at these facts:

He has killed more animals than you ever will
He has fired more weapons than you ever will
He has eaten more red meat than you ever will
He has banged more chicks than you…you homo
He has never done drugs because that is for “open-minded” liberal hippies
He just shot two bucks as I was writing these facts!
He owns more camouflage clothing than an army surplus store
Did you write the songs “Cat Scratch Fever” or “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”? NO, you didn’t! Leave that to America and a real man like Nugent.

American of the Day - 12.11.06: James Walter Quick

2006-12-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of you have heard of this story which surfaced a few weeks back. Two fine American citizens from the great state of South Carolina were enjoying a patriotic day of hunting, drinking, and football (with a little bit of freedom mixed in), when one of them suddenly decided to get just a little more AMERICAN than the other.

Basically, James Walter Quick, a Clemson fan, and Richard Allen Johnson, a South Carolina fan, had a bet on the game, and when Clemson won, Johnson decided he wasn't gonna pay up. Quick, as any other fine upstanding American would do in this situation, decided he wasn't about to let Johnson just cut and run, so he walked to his Chevrolet Corsica (a fine American automobile), pulled out his high-powered rifle, and softly stated, "I want my money or I'm going to shoot you."

Johnson then made his fatal un-American mistake. He tried to pull out some liberal voodoo bullshit and responded, "You can't shoot me, I'm invisible."

Quick quickly saw through the nonsense, took Liberty and Justice into his own hands, and shot Johnson in the chest. After performing his American duty, he casually walked outside and leaned against his Corsica, with arms crossed, waiting for the police to arrive. Obviously, the police determined that Quick's actions were completely justifiable, and they commended him on his decision-making and offered him a place on the force. Quick declined, as the added time commitment could potentially cut into NASCAR season.

In a way, this death is somewhat tragic because Johnson was also a pretty hardcore American himself. In addition to spending the day hunting and drinking with his buddy, Johnson was instrumental in showing America's youth the ways of the back country. According to the article:

Johnson was a laid-back man known for teaching children how to do things, said his next-door neighbor Martha Johnson, who is not related.

"My nephew was with him every day," she said. "He always talked about how Rick showed him how to skin 'coons and deer."

Adam Branhan, 16, said he met Johnson at the beginning of the summer, when Johnson let him swim in his pond and hunt on his property.

"He cared about me," Branhan said. "He was there when I needed him."

Unfortunately, the split-second that Johnson turned his back on America, James Walter Quick was there to give him a little dose of Justice.

We here at Sweet Sweet Freedom salute you, Mr. Quick, and are happy to bestow upon you this blog's first honor of "American of the Day." Through one of our contacts from our extensive personal network in South Carolina, we have managed to obtain this exclusive video of James Walter Quick and his son enjoying the freedom available to them in the great land of AMERICA!!

Do you have the balls to watch this video you sissy liberal?

2006-12-10T23:02:00.000-08:00

This is a powerful video ladies and gentlemen. It has the power to turn a commie pinko into a 100% red-blooded, tax-hating American. It could turn a flamboyant gay man into a heterosexual. It could make a Prius-owning-nerd-patrol-member purchase the world’s greatest car, the Ford F350. I’ve even heard a rumor that it can cause male liberals to grow balls for once in their pathetic lives, but I doubt that is possible. If there is a point during this video where you get a boner for the red, white, and blue…well...I don’t blame you! Thanks Toby!

When America Meets Berkeley, CA

2006-12-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

I recently became part of a nomadic gang of patriotic Americans. Some of you may know our gang as "The O’Reillys” or “Karl Rove’s Roving Rogues”, but we prefer to be called “America”. America is bent on disrupting any liberal town/city that we come in contact with during our journey across this great land (at least according to our bylaws). A couple months ago, America had the opportunity to pillage the liberal hotbed of Berkeley, CA - in the name of America! Watch as America verbally abuses Bezerkley and also notice how none of the local cutters and runners do anything to stop the imposing global force known as AMERICA.

I'll be back in 2 and 2,
Chuck

Welcome to AMERICA!!!!!!

2006-12-10T21:59:00.000-08:00

Folks, if you're like me, the first thing you do every morning is wake up and immediately pledge allegiance to the flag. You then take a few steps out your front door and take a deep breath of fresh air. But you and I both know that this breath is much more important than that pussy oxygen shit...This is a breath of FREEDOM. SWEET SWEET FREEDOM. It's a taste of LIBERTY. Can't taste it? Then you probably voted for Kerry. It's the smell of JUSTICE! Can't smell it?? Probably means you're queer.

Look, we here at Sweet Sweet Freedom are all AMERICAN, all the TIME. I'm talkin 24/7, 365 days a year, and fuck leap years, we all know some pussy liberal scientist came up with that bullshit.

Speaking of liberals, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but am I the only one who feels that every blog out there is written by Starbucks-loving, Sushi-eating, Prius-driving, tree-hugging queers?

We're here to change that! Every single contributor to this site loves our great country so fuckin much that we have the Statue of Liberty tatooed on one testicle and a Bald Eagle on the other. In fact, one of us has knocked up an American Flag. You won't find any flip-flopping or cutting and running goin' on here. At Sweet Sweet Freedom, we'll be stickin' to our guns, staying the course, and fighting for Justice. We see the world as it is: black and white. We promise that at no point will any of our contributors become "open minded." If you're a fan of facts, data, or abortion then you might as well click here and then catch the first flight the FUCK OUT OF OUR COUNTRY!!!

Get ready America. You're about to be struck by a strong jolt of Patriotism!!

Take care & God Bless!